Noumea and local Isles
7/7/16 – 17/7/16
( Blog readers please note - by left clicking on photos you will see them full size and a photo gallery below. The same applies for previous blog posts..see blog archives below.)
Port Moselle Marina Noumea: almost a
champagne destination. The port of Noumea nestles in a bay, whose entry via
Passe Petit – small pass – is wide enough to admit cruise liners, the French
Navy, some commercial traffic and more cruising yachts that we have ever seen.
Here, large motor cruisers are in the minority and sail rules the waves. A view
from Google would show marinas crammed to overfilling and a host of boats
moored or anchored alongside the shipping channel, cheek by jowl, stern by bow,
with nary a space to allow transit between. Who owns all of these boats may
remain a mystery to us, because, where it really matters, out at the islands,
cays and reefs within the lagoon protected by the barrier reef and floating on
turquoise and aquamarine, sublime solitude can be had with the city of Noumea
still in sight. We had to pinch ourselves when we realised this to be true.
 |
Sunset Port Moselle Marina |
Sadly, too many cruising yachts arriving in
Australia report a stifling level of officialdom connected with the formal and
sometimes draconian entry processes, and we carried a pinch of unease about how
we would find the French gendarmerie in Noumea, and we were ready to appeal to
the new links between France, South Australia, and Submarines, should the
wheels of bureaucracy have needed some greasing. We could refer to at least
having sailed past the Adelaide Submarine Corporation, if we needed to resort
to name dropping, and maybe that back home we knew people in high places – take
the folk who live up on Cut Hill out of Victor Harbor for starters. Anyway, our
concerns proved to be utterly baseless, with the Customs and Immigration
formalities extending to one form and two smiles and the Quarantine Officer not
choosing to come below and inspect our fridge, our pantry, or our wine
collection, in spite of our earnest entreaties. Being pillars of society and
having honesty and probity as our core values, we came clean, and showed our
comestible contraband; in effect three cheeses slices, a couple of bananas and
an open packet of Vita Wheats. The affable Bio-Security gent suggested we make
a cheese sandwich and finish of the bananas on our way to the bin with the rest
and….by the way….welcome to Noumea! And, the cost of this process, zero, zilch,
zippo and nought – although it is double on Sunday!
There has to be a catch, we figured. So, we
had already sailed past postcard coral isles abeam of the ship channel: the
markets where a kaleidoscopic array of tropical fruit, legumes (vegetables) and
poissin (fish) were just alongside the marina; Noumea itself, a cosmopolitan
delight of 100,000pax was a five minute walk away; whilst between all of this
was a bistro that served, as we were assured very cold cold beer, and here we
were being welcomed like lost cousins from Whyte Yarcowie, by the Officials of
the Republic, and by the charming staff of the marina, and all the time shorts
and loose shirts were de rigueur whilst at home the hardest edge of winter was
grating like carborundum. Yes there had to
be a catch, because there were squillions of winter-weary folk back home who
would love to be doing as we were about to – and lots of them fly further away
to places in Asia to find their April sun in Cuba. Maybe we were about to find
out what the catch was.
 |
Celebrating our arrival with local beers and dinner at the
Le bout du monde Bar Brasserie (which means The tip of the world ) |
My French is at the embryonic stage, but I
can confidently manage three offerings: bonjour,
au revoir, and Veuve Clequot Cookie on the other hand with Year 10 French,
and experience in backpacking through the Republic in the ‘eighties, was sworn
in as our emissary. Soon, with herself still to arrive from a much longed-for
post - voyage launder, I made my way to the Bistro Bar, used one of my language
trilogy, but was stuck at this point because it was a large beer that had my
focus, not champagne, and I had no intention of leaving just yet. The svelte
young thing behind the beer taps took my solitary word in her stride and in a
voice as sweet and heady as Drambuie – is that French because if it is that
makes four – asked me I think, “so what’ll it be”, and I struck hard on a
linguistic reef. Now I was seeking the mercy rule or the merci rule – that might be five – and with pointing, gesticulating
and salivating I hinted at the ice clad taps, indicated large, and made praying
gestures. It worked! Then…to decide which of the offerings
I might try, my flummoxed visage had her glancing over
her shoulder in the direction of the management before she started a process of
pouring a little of each for me to
try. Viola! (six?).
Bon apetit! (eight
and on a roll). With the Admiralty now having arrived we
settled on two beers of bird-bath dimensions – hers a Whisky beer [throwback to
earlier period of decadence] and mine a lemon beer [delicious] - and it was
time for our bill. I showed her my wallet with its Australian money and she
nodded. I took out a $10 note – I had forgotten I was not in Indonesia - and
she frowned. This was not a good sign. Then she gestured something like “one
more” and I fumbled for a $1 gold coin. Still she was not appeased… until I
realised…..one more $10 note was it, and
once produced she smiled, very sweetly, and sashayed away. $20 for two beers! A
couple of rounds would add up to a second mortgage. So that was the catch. Get used to New Caledonia being expensive, and
you’ll be fine. Lucky Cookie and I had been to see her Uncle Dan (Murphy, on
the Irish side), back in Scarborough and our seven day passage was due more to
the burden of the cellar in our bilge, rather than to a paucity of wind. We wondered at this point what a brace of
Submarines must be costing us back home, and whether a sweet young thing with a
voice like liqueur had clinched the deal.
 |
Enjoying a beer with Marcel |
Back in the Marina at the “new arrivals”
finger, a mixed grill of yachts had pulled in each with a story to tell. A New
Zealand couple had been beaten up in passage and with shredded sails they had
limped in to repair a little more than their canvas, but most had a more
positive experience and were, like us, just pleased to be in Noumea and with
some rest, reprovisioning and some slumber, looking forward to heading out to
explore the nautical delights of this enchanting country. Diddys had arrived a day before us, with Marcel, his son Phillipe, brother-in-law
Justin and crewman Brian, which we thought was fine considering we applied the
“brakes” and had under-sailed Calista for
more than the last 24 hours at sea. By heading north out of Scarborough they
had placed themselves in heavier conditions, and in the wash-up we were pleased
with the softer path that we had chosen. There is a commonality of experience
amongst cruising yachtspersons, and as a result getting to know some fine folk
from other places, was an easy and enriching thing to do.
New Caledonia with its spectacular forested
uplands, is dominated by the main island, Grand Terre, the third largest in the
Pacific, which lies like a 300km by say 40km sausage roll, wrapped in an
emerald lagoon, laying SE – NW abeam of the Coral Sea. To its east lie the
sublimely beautiful Loyalty Islands, Ouvea, Lifou and Mare whilst closer, and
to the SE is found the Isle of Pines, an ever popular destination for cruise
liners. Those who arrive here on a liner avoid the expense of on-shore
accommodation, but get only a lick of what is turning out to be a very
delicious ice-cream, or more commonly sorbet, as is the style here.
We arrived flying what we were assured in
Adelaide was the “New Caledonia flag”, but this turns out to be the
“independence” Flag of NC, and by flying it and not the French Tricolour, we
have committed a diplomatic faux pas (nine?),
and if the amphibians find out we might be shown the Passe Petit.and be asked to recant or leave. We are still flying
the NC Flag, and note that in a year or so the locals will get a form of Brexit
vote, although we fear that in spite of some aspects of French rule being
overbearing and the understandable desire of some locals to paddle their own
canoe, as it were, we would hate to see the French sail away and New Cal become
yet another failing state in our region.
 |
Our neighbour from California.. been cruising round the world for 18 years! |
There are similarities in relation to French
rule in New Caledonia and British rule in Australia, not the least of which
could be listed the awful treatment of the native Kanak population and the use
of this pacific outpost as a dumping ground for the hardest of France’s
convicts in the 1800’s.. It was the great mariner James Cook who “discovered”
New Caledonia, and named it thus, after its physical similarities with the
Caledonia district in Scotland. The French eventually beat the tardy British to
erecting their flag here, although what British rule might have led to is
anyone’s guess. Part of current-day Australia: who knows?
For us the real attraction of New Caledonia
was likely to be its remarkable coast-hugging lagoon strip, dotted with enough
tropical islands to whet the appetite of any marine visitors. New Caledonia has
the world’s second biggest barrier reef, and the lagoon that it encompasses was
listed by UNESCO as a World Heritage site in 2008, which saw the locals
brimming with pride. By comparison with Australia’s Barrier Reef, the outer
reef in New Caledonia is only a short boat ride from the mainland and hence the
vast lagoon system is an easily accessed playground for all, including those of
us who have recently arrived to sip on its delights. The UN listing has
presented a challenge for the country though, because whilst committed to the
preservation of this unique marine treasure, the country also earns most of its
cash from its abundant nickel deposits, with the processes of extraction and
processing being totally at odds with the preservation of pristine coral. There
have been mining “mishaps” that have sullied rivers and the precious lagoon to
the ire of all bar the miners. The clash of economic and environmental
imperatives has caused great angst here. Sadly, we know who is likely to
prevail.
In Port Moselle, all the talk was of the
Bastille Day celebrations on the 14th of July, and from the marina
we could not only have ring-side seats, but if we wanted, we could actually
take part in the parade portion of the festivities, from a nearby park to the
centre of town, the charming and sublimely peaceful Plaice des Cocotiers. We
figured, though, that rather than wait in port for all this to unfold; we could
head out of Noumea for a couple of days to see if the lagoon and some of its
closer islands were as delightful as some cruisers made them to be. We admit
having a tall order but we were searching for a tropical isle, one that we
could walk around, sandals in one hand, that had sand of alabaster white, some
trees for shade, placid waters for swimming and maybe some nice reef, complete
with Nemo, to entice our snorkelling gear out of the front locker. Whilst at
it, we should throw in a request for some local wildlife, and a secure
anchorage where we could overnight, after watching the sun set over something
like paradise. Then, because we might as well go totally for broke, could we
have this idyllic isle to ourselves, and could all of this be just out from
Noumea so we could get back for Bastille Day and play our part in the parade?
Well…with a little help from a friend….we found it…actually them, because as we were about to find
out, there were lots of islands just like this in the tropical lagoons of New
Caledonia. This was hard to believe, but it was true.
With potentially so much to see, we needed
help to find islands, navigate our way around them and to go to the best and
safest anchoring places amongst the reefs, shoals and coral heads. We had come
armed with some information from Australia, but having met a New Zealand couple
at Port Moselle, they showed us the extraordinary “Rocket and Cruising Guide”
to sailing in New Caledonia and Vanuatu, an interactive guide of such detail
and quality that it was an imperative to purchase, and to have on board. Cookie,
who thought her mastery of the satellite systems meant the end of technology
for a while, found that the disks of the newly purchased guide would not “load’
properly and would not “talk” to our on-board laptop. None of this was helped
by the NZ couple who airily told her “all we did was put in the disks, pop in a
code and we were up and running”. Some hours later, a frustrated and
incandescent sailing companion discovered that a key part of the instruction,
including a vital code, had not been received by us because our e-address had
been misspelt!! Now, armed with state of the art cruising information, we went
in search of our islands in the sun.
 |
Exploring the wonderful sheltered anchorages inside the lagoon |
Our Noumea sojourn had been brief but we
would be back in a few days, and the call of the islands was too great to
ignore. On Sunday 10/7, with a 10-15 knot sou-wester gripping our canvas, we
slid out of Passe Petite, and charged up the lagoon to the nor-west in search
of sand between our toes. My over charged imagination on our arrival hinted at
dripping rainforests, lianas, and perhaps the odd Macaw, but as we headed up
the lagoon, a closer inspection via the ship’s glasses showed that yes, the
mountainous spine of New Caledonia was clad in forest, but closer to the coast
there was evidence of rain-shadow dryness on the narrow coastal plain that
looked not unlike, but grander than the lower Flinders Ranges between Port
Pirie and Port Augusta in SA, after a good season. Whilst all this unfolded to
starboard, off to port, and not too far away was the line of breakers,
endlessly expending their energy on the outer barrier reef, Le Grand Recife.
Between, and after a couple of hours, just ahead, lay the first of our chosen islands,
Ilot Ndue, and because we had coordinates for finding our way to it between its
surrounding reefs, with one at the helm and one observing ahead, we were soon
rattling out our anchor chain, and settling back to enjoy our first tropical
isle.
 |
Beautiful Ilot Ndue |
Yes, we went ashore, walked around it, wondered at the activity of a pair
of Osprey feeding their young in a nest just alongside the beach, and flopped
in its enticing lagoon, as the sun commenced its inexorable slide toward the
western horizon. Cookie tells me that just shy of midnight and through to the
wee hours, a stiff sou-easter arose and had us dancing about on our ground
tackle, compromising our comforts below. She felt obliged to set alarms for
depth and drag, and lay nervously awake whilst I slept untroubled through to
the calm of the morning. I subscribe to the dictum of Capt. Cotton, that links
of anchor chain render little service if they remain in the anchor locker – we had
plenty of chain out and was never going to move.
 |
The Osprey hovering over her chicks
|
The next day, we felt, could hardly be
superior in quality, and yet at Ilot Mbe Kouen, it was, with plenty to spare.
The way to this little gem, between Ilot Mba, Ilot Mbo, and would you believe
it Ilot Mbe, was easily found via “Rocket” our electronic navigator, and after
5nm, there it was, the classic “desert island” , yes with the turquoise water,
gleaming sand, a handful of trees and an allure that was irresistible. We were
ashore in record time, and with beach shelter erected to deflect the late
winter sun we were at a loss whether to swim, snorkel, walk around the island
or to pinch ourselves that this place really existed and that yes the city of
Noumea lay just across the lagoon, only miles away. In the end after a 5minute
stroll around the islet – we did it twice, the second to better our time - we
did all of the above and watched in awe as a pair of raptors perched on the
southern spit of the cay, and allowed Cookie to approach within metres, as
though they were waiting to be photographed to feature in this blog. It was a jour extraordinaire
 |
Life's a Beach |


We were understandably reluctant to sail away
from the wonderful Ilot Mbe Kouen, but in the new morn we did, believing that
too much of a good thing might lead to three much of a good thing, and without
much temptation we might eschew “civilised” life and go and live with the
Osprey. Our other incentive in this whirlwind tour of familiarisation, was to
experience a “mainland” anchorage, one that came recommended and one that would
offer shelter from the stiff sou-easter, due later in the day. All this saw us
setting waypoints for the popular Baie Maa, just an hour or so away. This bay,
or baie, offers a couple of cusped beaches and with excellent holding and we
tried two spots, going ashore for a shell-fossick each time. Cookie is a
non-reformed “shellaholic”, whose focus in these waters is to find one of New
Cal’s famous nautilus shells, and twice at Baie Maa she shrieked and rushed
forward on the beach to find a partial nautilus laying on the high tide line.
We enjoyed our beach walks here but would not stray far into the bush, as it
seemed that from every tree the webs of Golden Orb spiders threatened ensnarement,
and with the bodies of some of these creatures as large as handsome grapes, we
stayed well clear of them. Predictably Cookie’s daily journal, plus her “sketch
of the day”, which has been a personalised feature of our voyages for years
now, predictably featured a tree adorned with arachnids.
 |
Baie Maa ...beware the Orbs!
|
 |
Morning light.. Baie Maa |
John and Ann off Essex Girl (see Newcastle and Port Stephens blogs) had reported seeing
dugongs whilst anchored in Baie Maa in 2015 and we hoped that we might spot
some as well. There are about 1000 of these lumbering sea grazers in New
Caledonian waters and they are now strictly protected. However, scan the waters
as we did, their presence eluded us, although other creatures soon captured our
attention, as they were directly under Calista
where she lay at anchor. We were unaware that they were there until Cookie
flicked overboard some crusts from her jaffle production below. There was a
sudden rush and splash, made by brace of ghost-like fish with tell-tale
sticking cups on the back of their heads. Remoras! Maybe they had mistaken, in
their myopic way, Calista’s rounded
hull for the flank of a humpback or even a dugong. To photograph these unique
fish we decided to break up a crust and jettison four of five broken bits into
the bay. In the end we decided that five was better than four as, obviously,
one does not give a sucker an even break.
 |
The Remoras became quite attached to us! |
The eve of Bastille Day was the following day
so our fabulous little excursion into the lagoon needed to end and
consequently, with a final and futile look for sea-cows, we retraced our way
out of Baie Maa and made for Noumea. We had considered anchoring out near the
city but in the meantime headed for Baie de Citron, to the south of the city,
where a strip of eateries lay alongside the local beach where swimmers had a
designated area set aside, especially for triathlon training, although it was
also popular amongst travelling beachgoers, more committed to tanning,
appearance and sloth. We felt the need to balance recent excesses with a longer
swim, but before this we sauntered into one of the aforementioned
establishments, because, as they say, when in Noumea, you have a coffee at
noon. It was lucky that we did, because in awaiting our cappuccinos, a glance
at the broader menu and a tourist broadsheet, soon had us coming up with a start.
The Bastille Day parade, fireworks and all the hoopla, was on the EVE of Bastille Day, in other words
TONIGHT! In no time we had urgently called the marina for a berth, swum the Baie,
returned aboard with haste and made for the Petit Passe once again.
 |
Enjoying the Bastille Day Lantern Parade |
As we eased into a berth at Port Moselle with
the marina staff there to catch our lines in the rising sou-easter, Diddys was just opposite us and Marcel,
now crewless, readily agreed to join us in the festivities to come. In his
youth in France he fondly remembered lantern parades, and how they had an
enduring connection to the overthrow of the French aristocracy, way back in
July 1789. In Noumea locals gather as the latter day proletariat, and the city
authorities had 5000 candle lit lanterns ready to distribute for the parade
into town. As one does, we joined the masses, and amongst mums and dads, kids,
teens with iPhones, older folk and the young and the free, we got our lantern
and stormed into town to the Plaice des Cocotiers where fireworks and not the
burning of the Bastille were the order of the day. Not sure if we should have
chanted libertie, equalitie and
fraternatie, but the crowd erupted again
and again as the pyrotechnics lit up Noumea’s night sky. In the middle of it
all I could feel heat on my leg and could smell burning and sure enough it was
one of our lanterns, on fire by mistake and causing a flurry of stamping and
rapid response by those around us. The night ended with some slick music and
dance centred around Palaice de Cocotiers’ iconic bandstand, and the proximity
of Port Moselle to the centre of it all was highlighted by the fact that it
took us only minutes to be back on board with the kettle on, one lantern short,
but enriched by the experience.
 |
Great Fireworks...including our lantern! |
Next morning, and again just across the way
from us Bastille Day proper was celebrated with a military parade, colour
trouping, speech making and a New Zealand style haka in front of local dignitaries, featuring a collection of
French Navy personnel; complete with shoes polished like mirrors, and appearing
as so many pressed white flowers. All of this was broadcast in French which
utterly overwhelmed my trilogy and left us thinking “well, that must have been
important – wonder what it was all about?”
 |
The Military Parade |
Bastille Day ushered in what was a big weekend
in Noumea. At Port Moselle we had front row seats, given that the Bistro was
right next to where we were moored, and for three nights local bands knocked
out some fine music and we just strolled up, bought a beer and mixed in with
the festivities. By this time we had adjusted to “Noumea prices”, and the sad
state of the “monopoly money” that is Australian currency, but not quite to the
propensity for the French to smoke like a Lancashire mill when
socialising. The level of smoking by the
French at play reminded us of what Australia was like decades ago, if you went
out to a pub for a night out. Fortunately, the bands were playing outdoors and
we were able to use the lingering sou-easter to stay upwind of the spirals of
smoke rising upwards, not unlike those that had emanated from our red, white,
blue and blackened lantern. The best of these rock shows, was that put on by
the New Caledonia Free Bikers, who arrived with throaty roars leading to line-up
of machines that would have thrilled any two wheeled aficionados, although we
were not sure if by mingling with this crew we might be mixing it with a band
of local ruffians and reprobates. Were they bikers or bikies? In no time
though, it was clear if this leathered lot was once ruthless, they were now
toothless – both sexes! We had a great night, carousing, smiling broadly where
my trilogy, failed and inspecting their magnificent machines between sets. With
the greatest of respect to Messrs Harley and Davidson, a sleek shiny and
utterly imperious Indian, for us stole the show. The couple who owned it
stepped regally onto this monster at the end of the night, and with an
imperious wave, left in a symphony of gears and cogs that would have shamed the
Royal Philharmonic. Cookie whose past includes a period as a two-wheel devotee,
nearly wept.
 |
What a Bike.. and great band too!
|
To top it all off Bastille Weekend ended with
the immense and ghostly form of Pacific
Jewel arriving in port – everyone on board must have breathed in as they
slid through Passe Petite – and took
up residence just abeam of downtown Noumea, and, yes, just a stroll away from
Port Moselle. We started these blogs by referring to our “familiarisation”
cruise to these waters on Pacific Pearl but
failed to mention an aspect of the cruise that caused us to cringe. It was
clear that some of those on board had boarded as passengers, but was determined
to leave as cargo, due to their unending commitment to the ship’s smorgasbord;
waddling in to the eatery and never seeming to leave. Seeing some of them had
us musing that P&O should be re-tagged as M&O: morbid and obese. Cookie
in a cheeky moment that was unkindly and undisciplined suggested that given our
cruise experience and the propensities of and dimensions of some of those on
big ship that “we need to get down there….might be our best chance to spot a
dugong.” Leaving this aside, though, the Jewel
became at once the tallest edifice in town, lording it over the city and
able to be seen for miles around. We know how cruise liners fit like a hand in
a velvet glove at Circular Quay in Sydney, gloriously bookended by the Sydney
Harbor Bridge and The Opera House, and yet here in Noumea, stepping out from
the Plaice des Cocotiers, the central park, and looking down the street to see
the immense form of Pacific Jewel just
there, just down the road was something else again. Naturally, we were there to
see her leave, traditionally and beautifully at sunset, although we were
surprised to be able to saunter down onto the wharf right where the lines were
being freed from the bollards where we could have easily helped out with the
bow lines and springers had they been short-handed on the dock.
 |
Pacific Jewel towering above the city landscape. |
With Pacific
Jewel sailing away like a floating suburb into the fading light it was time
for us to make a move out of port as well. A cursory look at our cruising guide
told us that the enchanted islands that we had briefly and recently visited was
but an entrée and that laying there, languid and enticing in the lagoon, stretching
up some 30nm to Passe St Vincent and
beyond, might be some islands and other attractions that could bring us to a
greater understanding of the wonders of New Caledonia. We were now a one
lantern ship, but we were ready again to leave port and head north into the
great lagoon, to investigate its nautical attractions for
ourselves.
 |
Time to cast of the bowlines to explore, dream, discover ! |